Pod 9 From Outer Space – Cat Women of the Moon Transcript

Nick

It’s another episode of pod 9 from outer space.

Liz

Cue the music!

Opening music.

LIZ

This week we watched certainly an interesting film.

NICK

It certainly was. And one which started a lot of imitators.

LIZ

We watched cat women of the moon the first of many many films where a mostly male crew goes to space and meets a sexy lady colony who wanbts to breed with them.,

NICK

Everyone wants to watch a film where they take trips to the horny planet.

LIZ

It’s not even a planet, it’s a moon.

NICK

Horny satellite.

LIZ

Yeah. So this was also a 3d film despite being from 1953. It’s quite innovative in a way.

NICK

Sadly we weren’t able to get the full 3d effect as we lack the apparatus and watched it on youtube, but I felt it in my heart.

LIZ

I feel it was better in some ways than modern films because it didn’t have the gratuitous it’s coming towards you kind of shots.

NICK

I thi8nk I’ve seen one film in 3d it didn’t add much.

LIZ

I saw the film fly me to the moon in 3d which is about flies goikng to space. At one point you get spat on.

NICK

Were there horny wasps?

LIZ

It was for children.

NICK

They weren’t trying to mate with some erotic lady hornets on jupiter.

LIZ

No, they were going to the moon, it’s in the title, like the song.

NICK

Oh yeah words have meaning, I forget that.

LIZ

Yeah basic concept they go to the moon, it’s the 50s everyoe’s going to the moon. They get there, they do smoe bad science which we’ll get abck to and find this colony, they’re described as cat people but they’re just women in body con catsuit type things who can teleport and also apparently have some means of breding but tey don’t want to do that they want to go to earth and usde their men for breding and the o0ne woman on the crew is kind of into it honestly|? She fits the thing I’ve seen in schlock from the 50s where there’s one competentt woman I feel we’ve gone a litle backwards. There’s a competentt woman she’s moderaately attractive she’s probably ian a relationship with one of the men, byht she has her own personality she knows what she’s doing but she is also kinda into the idea of making the men breed with the moon ladies.

NICK

Wants to watch.

LIZ

It’s nevcr really explained why they can teleport. They’re just introduced as people who are on the moon but they just have teleportation capabilities. It’s just… This might as well happen.

NICK

Yeah that’s the logic of a lot of the film tyhis might as well happen.

LIZ

One of the crew members mr wallace has brought postcards with him to the moon so he can put a void thing on the stamps on the postcards and the stamps will be super rare because they were stamped on the moon. As ways to exploit space travel for profit is at least unique.

nick

I’d go rocks or moon dust

liz

But everyone’s doing that.

NICK

Surely they could go to the moon kiosk to get some moon postcards. If they can teleport I’m sure they have kiosks.

LIZ

But he’s all about the stamps, and they don’t need the stamps cause they can teleport. If you want to drop a note off to someone just teleport to their house.

NICK

They don’t even get the satisfaction of popping them in a little book.

LIZ

But they don’t have to lick envelopes so swings and roundabouts.

NICK

I dunno, a good likcing. Very satisfying.

LIZ

They are cats. Supposedly.

Plug for Bread and Thread.

LIZ

Really not sure why they’re called cat people beyond the fact they’re wearing cat suits. Not cat costumes. They certainly have sdome fabric on them.

NICK

It does feel like we’ve walked into some kind of swinging 60s club.

LIZ

They even have beehive haircuts. It’s weird.

NICK

If I were to encounter cat people on the moon I[‘d expect at the very least 2019 cats characters.

LIZ

But it was the 50s, they weren’t aware of 2019 cats, they weren’t even aware of cool 90s stage show cats.

NICK

life has its small mercies.

LIZ

So the science in this film… In an unusual twist from what we normally see the dark side of the moon, perfectly habitable comfortable temperature, light side you catch fire immediately.

NICK

Of course. Cause what else would happen on the moon, that spicy little earth buddy.

LIZ

You were trying so hard not to swear then.

NICK

No just searching for the right words for our beloved little space companion.

LIZ

Fair. I do love a natural satellite.

NICK

Who doesn’t?

LIZ

Later on they’re in a space tunnel and they see soem water dripping and go if ther’s dripping there’s gravity which they didn’t twig from the fact they can walk around on the moon… And if there’s gravity maybe there’s oxygen so they ligth a match even though they saw something catch fire earlier.

NICK

Personally I’m a big fan of lighting a match to see how much gas is somewhere.

LIZ

They were checking for oxygen less likely to cause an explosion.

NICK

Depends how much there is.

LIZ

The fact these scientists didn’t get it from the first fire.

NICK

Coincidence.

LIZ

It could, but the fact it took seeing dripping to see there was gravity on top of that, when again they’ve been walking around the moon not moon bouncing just normal walking around the moon.

NICK

They have to collect their data, it’s not science unless you do it loads. They walked around lots and went ok hypothesis proved.

LIZ

That’s true.. They didn’t write it down though and adam savage from mythbusters said the difference between science and mucking about is writing stuff down. So they were just mucking around on the moon.

NICK

They wrote it down in their mind ledgers.

LIZ

Doesn’t count.

NICK

Even if it’s made of real brains?

LIZ

My mind ledger says things like it’s illegal to bake a cake if you’re in your pyjamas. Doesn’t make it true.

NICK

You ever tested it?

LIZ

Every time I try to make cake in my pyjamas it’s gone wrong, maybe it’s a mental block. But after this point when they take their helmets off, the female crew member Helen because she’s a woman goes this must be a tunnel not a cave because trhe air isn’t stuffy. Which is good thinking good girl helen you are truly the competent member, although you also didn’t realise that something catching fire means probably there’s oxygen so half marks?

NICK

Half Marx but which half?

LIZ

The beard.

Probably bad promo.

LIZ

The effects in this were very 50s.

NICK

There wasn’t much to write home about.

LIZ

There was a very good matte painting of the cat woman city from a distance.

NICK

Yeah matte paintings are hard to get wrong – you just hire a professioal artist, but then there was the spider.

LIZ

There was, I hesitate to even call it a puppet cause it didn’t move around it just sort of appeared rodfent of unusual size style from the ceiling and they sort fo batted it away like cats… But they were the humans… What if…. Humans are cats?

NICK

I do get the dfesire to chase laser pointers when they turn up.

LIZ

That’s fair. Laser pointers are pretty neat.

NICK

Sometimes I bring you dead rodents.

Pause.

LIZ

Ok. So the cat women city was vrey nice though it was half built hjalf carved kind of thing reminded me of a lot of pictures you get of I don’t know what it’s called the city in Jordan, can’t for the life of me remember. But there’s odd – petra that’s what it’s called – b ut there’s an odd lack, of gold considering a whole conversation about how there'[s a whole bunch of gold on the moon. And wallace who we know is the one who’s into money he doesn’t really go for the obvious ah you have gold you don’t want maybe we should take it back thing you’d assume would happen. Just having a sincere chat with this cat woman.

Nick

He’s just into the stamps.

Liz

The chat goes south pretty quickly when the head cat woman who is called Alpha because of course the cat women are called Alpha Beta and Lambda atarts saying oh we don’t have many men, and he seems to be into that until she says we shall use your men for our eugenicist breeding program she actually uses the word eugenics. It’s 1953.

NICK

As lines go, it’s not the best.

LIZ

No. But this is where I lose respect for helen because she puts up a little bit of a fight against the cat women but not really. Maybe she’s hoping she’ll get a better boyfriend, because naturally she’s dating a member of the crew, the cowardly one. Presumably meant to be the 50s equivalent of a soft boy but just comes across as a wimp.

Nick

That’s the sequel. Soft boys of the moon.

Liz

The production company that made this film, RM Savini presents… I’m sad to say no relation to the other Savini, and doesn’t seem to have done anything other than executive produce a handful of B movies of varying levels of sexy shall we say.

Nick

That sounds like a good name of a channel. It’s honest.

Liz

I do want to talk more about helen because she’s an intersating character who is competent, but she’s very much put into the caring role you’d expecft for a character from the 50s, she’s the one making sure no-one is wounded she’s making sure n-one is scared, she’s the den motther. Idk I tihnk it’s interesting, you hear progress isn’t that linear, which is clear when you see that in this era of film.

Nick

You definitely see characters with that level of agency in modern films, that sort of compromised competence.

Liz

Yeah it’s the strong female character tm who is like oh yeah I’m gonna kick butt and take names but also I’ll look after you and make a cup of tea which is fine as a concept but rarely executed well.

Nick

Nope, just seems… I guess my issue with the film is you’ve got the bad science and the spider, but a lot of the films that came after this did more with the setup, it feels like it’s very low key.

Liz

Yeah just ones I’ve seen that have a similar lady colony thing especially in the 60s they get very pornographic. So It’s interesting iw asn’t expecting what is admittednly a surface level discussion of feminism in B-movies but here we are.

Nick

Thanks cat women of the moon.

Liz

And thanks marie windsor for your service.

Nick

I guess the question is what are we looking at next?

Liz

It’s your turn.

Nick

Uh… I haven’t thought that far ahead. Uh… Fantastic PLanet.#

Liz

Ah a theme, planets.

Nick

Yes

Liz

The one place untouched by capitalism. Planets. At least until mr wallace gets involved.

Nick

He just goes around collecting stamps.

Liz

That sounds like a fun premise though.

NICK

Intergalactic philately.

LIZ

Yes, until he comes across his arch enemy. There’s gotta be an antagonist.

NICK

You don’t mean…

LIZ

The philately bandit.

NICK

(singing)

Philately bandit, do do do do do do, philately bandit, do do do do do. That’s right, he’s got his own theme tune.

LIZ

We should end it there.

NICK

When the philately bandit shows up everyone can go home.

LIZ

Yep.

Closing music.

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